1. |
intro
02:10
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8:30 in the morning I’m in line at the walgreens
Buying a slim jim and a red bull
Cause lately I can’t sleep or eat
Tapping my foot and looking at the magazines
Cover stories of scientology cover-ups
this world is a parody what the fuck
So I laugh to myself
Because this place is a joke
And if I don’t laugh
I just think I’d choke
It’s not really funny
No, no, no
It’s not really funny
But it’s how I cope
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2. |
hide, not seek
03:46
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Fuck my therapist, what I need is a liar
Someone to stop me from staring right at the fire
So there’s no smoke in my eyes
Now I’m askin if you’ll jump this fence with me
Make a promise not to look back or tell me what you see
Keep your blinders on or i’ll call you a name
It’s hide, not seek when you’re playing my game
Fuck the platitudes, what I need is some cash
See a guy about a getaway car
Think it’s time we run away and never look back
Windows down, we’ll blow away every scar
So really, will you take this leap with me?
Pinky promise to never tell me what you see
Keep your eyes on the road or I’ll call you a name
It’s hide, not seek when you’re playing my game
And if my body is a vessel, i’ve got no more to hold
But a can of gasoline to set fire to the overflow
We’re out, we’re out, drive away
Don’t turn around, the horizon’s in flames
A trail of scorched earth we’ll leave behind
So lie to me, lie to me, tell me I’m fine
If my body is a vessel, I’ve got no more to hold
But a can of gasoline to set fire to the overflow
So lie to me, lie to me, tell me I’m fine
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3. |
vindicated
02:48
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I wish I’d never shown you vindicated
Can’t scream it in the car anymore i hate it
A viscerality I never anticipated
Flashbacks to the way you manipulated
Constant seeking of my attention kept me insulated
Cherry papers flying should’ve indicated
Emotional terror would be unmitigated
Your painted world inside my head got integrated
The way you lit the gas it was sophisticated
All the while I longed for you to be rehabilitated
Further steps I take your voice has dissipated
Now you’re sliding in my dms to keep your ego stimulated
But now I’m reading your messages
And I’m feeling vindicated
Don’t show men your favorite songs
They won’t be your favorite after they’re gone
x2
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4. |
i asked
04:23
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We’re playing a game
So why are you yelling?
In this room you can’t be
So excuses fall to me
I say, really he’s ok
But just in case, can’t let you walk away
And I hate this part
Your demons gnaw at my heart
Now I’m convinced
I’m your level when you’ve got the spins
If I say bye, you’d die
It’s a lie, but I had to try
We’re playing a losing game
knew it before I knew your name
We stumble home
And I should’ve known
The silence is fraught, you ask
“Am I your forever or not?”
I don’t know
Know what I hope
Hole shaped like a fist in your pontiac g6
4am at st joe’s because I tried to go
You hit me with the sad eyes
But your sweet talk is a lie
Look at me I got rope burns
Tied up in your words
Mostly it’s you, but mostly it’s me
cause I begged you to let me see
The floor of your childhood home
The things you do when you’re alone
You may have punched holes in my life raft
But I asked
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5. |
deathwish
04:23
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Sometimes I go to the store even when I don’t need anything
Wander around aimlessly
At some point I’ll leave with cigarettes or wine
Inching closer to the line shamelessly
Sometimes I go for a drive even when I have nowhere to go
And I don’t put my seatbelt on
The sensors yell relentlessly that I’m in danger
But something about the sound feels so calm
I don’t have a deathwish, but maybe I’m lying
You can call me selfish, but we’re all dying
And when you’re small they drill it into your head
Always look both ways before you cross the street
But sometimes I walk before I can see
Like I’m daring the universe to surprise me
I don’t have a deathwish, but maybe I’m lying
You can call me selfish, but we’re all dying
Eat, clean, breathe, sleep
Everyday with these human needs
Contending with corporeality
To slowly wither would bring me serenity
And I don’t have a deathwish, but maybe I’m lying
You can call me selfish, but we're all dying
Oh, aren’t we all dying?
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6. |
tell me that we made it
03:55
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I’m writing you a letter even though we’ve never met
I hope you got your teeth fixed and less stormclouds in your head
I wish I had some wisdom, or a stone to measure to
But mostly I’m just scared there’s noone I’m writing to
So just tell me that we made it
Last month I turned 27 to no pomp or circumstance
To tell the truth I think I’ll spend the year in a chokehold or a trance
And there’s a deadly club that’s set up shop in the back of my head
So i’m hoping you can tell me to kiss goodbye the dread
So just tell me that we made it
My tongue is filled with questions, but meandering’s my mind
Your shape’s made up of haze that my eyes can not define
I hope that you are present, not nostalgic for today
I hope your hands are dirty, no more dripping in dismay
So just tell me that we made it
Did I make it?
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premium rat Ypsilanti, Michigan
29, they/them, making the soundtrack to burning this shit down
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